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Friday, February 25, 2011

Been Cleaning Out the Cupboards

And the fridge is really amazingly empty! Tonight, made a neat crab fried (brown) rice dish that I love and is really easy to make: 1 cup brown rice cooked, 1 package surimi, 1 package - 16 oz - of frozen peas and carrots, 2 Tbls vegetable oil, 1 bunch of green onions sliced (I use as much of the greens as I feel comfortable with), then a 2 egg equivalent of Egg Beaters. I saute the onions in the oil, add in the chopped surimi (bit-sized pieces), then toss in the rice, the peas and carrots, and once everything is well heated through, add the Egg Beaters in a well in the center of the mixture. Scratch this all together, letting the egg cook. Transfer to plate or bowl, and add in low-sodium soy sauce.
YUM
But everything was in the freezer except the Egg Beaters - oh and the rice was in the cabinet.

So with gas prices rising thru the roof again, and a corresponding increase in the grocery store, where are you thinking you're going to adjust your spending? I'm working on the idea of changing up my lunches to being totally meatless all the time. PBJ sounds boring, and humus and veggies, while easy aren't the most cost efficient. I don't do eggs much (just the egg beaters) so egg salad is out.

Vegetarian lunch ideas are welcome, just leave a comment if you will?

And give me other ideas, too, okay?

By the way? I managed to beat the electric company this year, but only barely - by about $1.20 a month. Still, I'm delighted that I came in under their estimate for my budget plan, even with our cold winter. I'm soon to begin thinking of ways to reduce the bill even farther, so let me know what you're thoughts are there, too.

Am I focusing on costs too much? In this rocky time, it's hard not to, but I'm bound and determined to make this a game, not be negative about it, but see how low I can go on my expenses...

And, my grocery bill this month? Well, I managed to come in under $150 - of course, there's still a few days left in the month, I could cave...

But I don't plan to.

Monday, February 21, 2011

It's Monday, Must Be Meatless!

I have nothing to show you...I've been away all weekend, and I didn't make a bit of what I ate, but I had meatless at every turn...

Friday night, a grilled portobella mushroom sandwich with roasted red peppers and an interesting mustard concoction. Saturday afternoon, Indian Dal Curry and rice at a local stall in a food court in downtown DC. Saturday night, La Madeleine's in Old Town Alexandria where I had their signature Tomato Basil soup and a field greens salad with bread. Sunday night was another Indian restaurant that I'd not been to, and I had a Vegetable Vindaloo that was incredibly spicy - but very very good!

In amongst there, I had one meal with meat, and it was a salad with chicken. The rest of the meals for the weekend (hey, I think that's almost only breakfast left, right?) were yogurt and Kashi.

Ok. Starbucks, too.
*wink*

It was a good weekend...you can see where we went and what we did over on my knitting blog.
:)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Continuing Cleaning the Cupboards...and A NEW Challenge!

I'm about to let you know about my latest endeavors of Cleaning Out The Cupboards and also about something else mentioned there...that UWMD Challenge (you know, "Use it up, Wear it out, Make it do, or Do without?")...

No photos (I know, shoot me), but over the past weekend and into this week, I've pulled single serve leftovers out of my freezer to eat for dinner, making a considerable opening in the space available...there's much more to do, however.

Last night, I used up a container of vegetable beef soup and leftover artisan bread (both in the freezer), then made up a batch of Pumpkin Fluff (WW friendly) which used up a container of Cool Whip, a can of pumpkin, and a package of Sugar-Free, Fat-Free vanilla pudding (and milk, but I am having to continue buying that). I pulled a can of beets off the storage shelves and opened that this week, too.

When it's just me, it takes a lot longer to eat my way through all this! But tonight? Another frozen serving of that goulash down below...

As far as the UWMD Challenge? Oh, I'm all over that. I'm working hard to use up my stash of fabrics in making products for my shows and craft festivals this year. Trying hard to work through my yarn stash to create holiday gifts and charity items (and those hats mentioned below). But I'm also hoping to get through some of the things in the basement, the closets, all through the house for either a yard sale this summer, and of course the regular drops to charities and Freecycle.

I love the idea of the UWMD Challenge...I'm IN!

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Reverb10: February

February Prompt:
One month into 2011, what question(s) are you living? Are there any prompts/questions that arose during #reverb10 that are still resonating in your life? Are you living new questions?

Wow. Dropped into my inbox at precisely the time I was giving myself mental slaps about falling behind (ok, failing, totally) in my attempts to corral my spending and improve my financial picture! I hadn't anticipated hearing another thing from the Reverb10 folks! But this certainly appeared at just the right time.

Finance was my personal tripping point, discovered in the midst of rethinking who I was, and how I'd come to be in this world. The Single Mom who struggled to survive without the child support due (and when any of it managed "magically" to arrive, spending it quickly for the things we were doing without - a twin bed set for DD when she outgrew the crib...clothing for her, shoes...and always treats that we couldn't normally afford, because "we deserved it," for doing without all the rest of the time).

It's a rotten, hard mindset to break.

I'd set for myself a goal of reusing what's in the cupboard in January and not buying the $300 at the grocery store I'd averaged every month of 2010. For one person that seems too much.

Well, apparently even when I'm cleaning out the cupboards, nicely, I can't stop myself from picking up those "specials" when they appear at the store! I've admitted that I include the cat's food & litter in my grocery budget line: one store had such a good deal on the canned food that I bought $10 worth on January 31.

(of course, I realize that means that they're set for February, which should mean I don't have to buy much for them, except the dry and the litter, right?)

And the freezer gets packed back as fast as I clean it out.

We won't talk about the savings account just now - I'll just say that it's being robbed as fast as the funds go in for routine maintenance stuff...Once again, there's very little at the end of the month, and someone keeps moving the ends...I think it's time to reconsider how I go about addressing this issue and must force myself to become much more aware. Tracking works in Weight Watchers, so I'll try it for Finance in February!
;)

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Still Cleaning Out the Cupboards!

Years ago, my mom made a dish she called "Goulash."

I never did get the recipe - and the reason was, it never tasted the same twice. Mom always did what I did tonight:

Pull out what's in need of being used before it goes bad, and put it together with tomatoes, cheese, and whatever pasta you have on hand.

The one up there is a layered dish:
13.5 ounce box of whole wheat rotini (boiled in lightly salted water)
2 cans of diced Italian flavored tomatoes
1/2 an onion, chopped
3/4 of a yellow pepper, chopped,
3 cloves of garlic, minced
1 can of chopped black olives, drained
1 pound of ground chicken, sauteed in 2 Tblsp. olive oil
1 container of sliced fresh mushrooms, cut in half

then I shook in (without measuring) sage (just a bit b/c I couldn't decide if I'd like it or not), thyme, oregano, basil, and pepper.

I layered all the above (I mixed the chicken mixture in with the cooked rotini first) with shredded part-skim mozzarella and shredded parmesan cheeses. I topped the casserole with those as well, and baked at 350 for about 40 minutes (to heat everything and melt the cheese).

It was yummy.

Which is a darn good thing, because there's a ton of it! I suspect I'll be putting some of this in the freezer by Wednesday, but at least it will last awhile longer than it would have if I hadn't done something with all that stuff!

(and I think I'm skipping Meatless Monday this week, as a result)

Friday, January 28, 2011

Local, Local, Local...It All Starts At Local!

If ever that were true, it was today.

I left my office at 4:30, veered down the road a piece in one direction to my Local Yarn Store (which closes at 5) for needles, tangent-ed (is that a word?) off towards Salem (the town next door, but only barely) to pick up fabric a customer had requested at one of our nice local quilt shops (which closes at 5:30), then circling back around to the local druggist (who closes at 6) where I tend to buy generics OFF my health plan because the Big Health Plan insists I can't get them locally if I run it through them - so to HECK with them, I'm supporting my local guy. Not as often as I wish I could (which is always) but when I can afford to pay out of pocket, I do. I dread the day I drive up to the store and find it shuttered. The pharmacist and I have discussed just this...

Then unfortunately, I had to stop at the grocery store. NOT local. {sob!}

But sorta, kinda regional...a tiny bit better than Kroger. Thanks to their good price on cat food, the furkids will be cared for for another 25 days...

Now, do you know why I scurried for needles? Because my friend Ellen and her sister Jan, and friend Alison have all gotten the idea of knitting Warm Hats for Hot Heads. This to honor those folks in Tucson who lost their lives and the others whose lives will never be the same. We're knitting hats for each of the Representatives in Congress and all the Senators. It's a tall order. We want them to do more than the token "date night" for the State of the Union speech. We want them to return to civility. To treat every single one of the colleagues with respect and the firm belief that every single one of them is there because they love their country. They have different ideas of what is best for the country, but there isn't any doubt at all that they love it. We have to honor that, draw that out, and work to build the kind of responsible government that doesn't put people in danger. No yelling. Use your inside voice. Discuss. Don't tear each other down, work to persuade and learn to compromise. Like your Moms' all taught you.

Can you knit? Do you want to help? Let us know (we've also got a group on Ravelry). If you can't knit, can you spread the word thru your various knitter communities?

Thanks. Knit On.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Clean Out The Cupboards On Meatless Monday

You know, I'd have a terrible time following a macrobiotic diet. I love tomatoes too much (peppers, eggplants, and potatoes, too, frankly). But once again, a tomato-based dish is on the blog for Meatless Mondays:

I cleaned out a bunch from the cupboards, too! This was fast and easy, a can of black beans rinsed and drained, a can of corn (I did the same here, rinse and drain), a can of chili-ready diced tomatoes, and then I shook in a goodly amount of hot sauce, because I couldn't find the frozen chili peppers in the freezer (it's still too full!). Heated everything and tossed it over brown rice (again from the cupboard, there's a lot of rice in there). The corn muffins were left in the freezer, too, so all in all, EVERYTHING in this dish was in my house!

And by the way, as of this moment I've spent about $80 this month so far at the grocery! (Some of that was stocking up on kitty food, too, so not for my own use, but since they're family, I include their food in my budget.)

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Cleaning Out The Cupboards...er..Freezer?

It's my first real contribution to the Clean Out the Cupboards Challenge...

and this turned out nicely!

My spaghetti sauce is based on a Barilla jarred sauce (the Tomato Basil flavor), then I add a couple of tablespoons of dried onions, 3-4 cloves of garlic, minced, and this time, I added in about a cup of Morningstar Farms Recipe Crumbles (NAYY), a couple of links of spicy Italian chicken sausage (remove the casings first and then brown with the recipe crumbles), and a medium sized container of sliced mushrooms that I'd frozen because I couldn't eat them fresh at the time...saute it all in some olive oil, then add the jarred sauce.

You could easily (and I do) make this completely vegetarian, you could add in all sorts of veggies (and I have).

Cook up some whole wheat pasta (even if what you have in the cupboard is elbow macaroni!) and toss on some decent grated parmesan cheese (or not...I thought I had some, and I was mistaken, but it was still wonderful tonight!).

I'm really pleased that several things came out of the freezer, the crisper, and the cabinet. I've got another couple of meals here, and then I'll get to work on my next pantry feast. Maybe with some of the brown rice and canned beans I have in the larder...

Stay tuned!
:)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Clean Out The Cupboards Challenge!

I was surfing around over the weekend and discovered a blog and a challenge that, frankly, seemed to be quite suited the some of the plans and goals I set for myself at the start of the year here:

1. Lower the food bill
2. Use what I have!
3. Eat more Meatless meals, particularly participating in Meatless Mondays again
4. Continue increasing my awareness with regard to the environment and local food availability and community building...

Ok. The blog has taken a decided turn towards this over the past couple of years, and I wanted to go a step further. I also wanted to not have such a stuffed freezer (just the fridge part!).

I really love the old New England ("Down East") saying: "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."

Yes. Yes. Yes. Now...using up what's been in the freezer for a bit began with the vegetable soup I showed you yesterday - and Rebecca has this wonderful challenge that I only just discovered. I'm hoping she won't mind that I'm linking to today without a recipe and referring her to that post for this weeks "Clean Out the Cupboards Challenge."

Photobucket


I am going to try to buy less food, but I have to have fresh fruit and veggies or I'll start to regain my weight and that's not happening. So I'm going to meal plan, and use up the things in the cupboards, freezer, and fridge, and buy much less this month.

My first real recipe will be my tried and true spaghetti sauce this weekend. I've got whole wheat pasta, sauce, frozen Morningstar Farms Recipe Crumbles, frozen mushrooms and peppers and onions. All in the house. Oh! There's even parmesan (real stuff, not the shaker cheese!).

I have whole grain bread, too. The only thing fresh will be the greens I bought tonight for a salad!

Oh...that was the other goal: Meal Planning!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Meatless Monday-On The Cheap!

Here we are, Meatless Monday again! Amazing how fast the time goes, right? It's already the 10th of the month and January is virtually 1/3 over!

In the interest of keeping my food expenses down this month and also because of the brrrr-isk winter chill we've been subjected to here in the Blue Ridge Mountains, I decided to make a sort of "clean out the fridge" veggie soup:

Ok, some of the ingredients were in the pantry, not the fridge, but you get my drift?

The base is vegetable stock - you can easily begin one of these with the water left from cooking veggies for other meals, but add in a stalk of celery, some herbs (to your taste), an onion. Or like me, you can rely on canned (this time). In fact, this soup doesn't have any real onion on it, because truly I had none. I used dehydrated flakes from the spice rack. Another flavoring was my Mrs. Dash Garlic and Herb. I opened a couple of cans of diced tomatoes, one of which was Italian seasoned, and then I opened the veggie drawer and the freezer. There are canned kidney beans, frozen peas, crisper drawer celery, carrots, and potatoes (those from the market in November), and frankly? I can't remember what else I put in. Oh. Except that after it had cooked a bit, I felt as if there was something missing...I opened the fridge and peered into it, especially the shelves. And came out with balsamic vinegar! There are a couple of good slugs of it tossed in and it made a HUGE difference. I can tell you that the flavor draws out the earthiness in the root veggies (or I think it does...)

So now, with some artisan bread, Vermont cheddar cheese and a bowl of this? I can stay warm and full from lunch time till evening tonight when I may just make an omelet. Oh. And of course, I'll be eating fruit - since it's now free on Weight Watchers! I have enjoyed keeping bananas and oranges on the counter to pick up and eat. While I know they're not local, they make winter bearable.

I've been rereading some voluntary simplicity books and rethinking my knee-jerk reactions...I drove down past my favorite grocery store last night and I didn't stop. While I will have to go tonight, I need a list, and I need to organize carefully what I need to buy. And I need fortitude against the wonderful book store next door - my favorite Barnes & Noble...and I have a gift card. But that card is reserved for a Nook and it's not quite enough for me to get that right now...I'm saving up. By staying away last night, I didn't spend the $15 I probably would have on a magazine. Hmmm...another bit of cash to stash for the purchase.

(I'm also thinking thru how fast I want to make the Nook purchase, because the payoff of holiday debt and a couple of other things right now are important to accomplish. So I'm mulling all this over in my mind...

Most of all, it's consideration, deliberate consideration of whether I believe that I'll use the Nook. I'm convinced I could downsize my book collection considerably and that would leave more space for yarn and fabric...

We'll see how this goes...enjoy this soup if you decide to make it, and if you do? just tell me how you made it YOURS!

Monday, January 03, 2011

Meatless Mondays (continued)...

I have just made a promise to myself for 2011 to eat more vegan meals (not to become a vegan, the two things are different!), and decided to recommit to Meatless Mondays (that's the Facebook link as I get updates there!).

Today, I've got the day off (sorta...payroll waits for no holiday), so I have Susan V.'s New Orleans Style White Beans in my Cuisinart Slow Cooker. May not actually get to eat these tonight, because I have to be at a TKGA chapter meeting tonight, and I'm not sure the beans will be ready (or that I should have them before I sit in a room full of friends for a couple of hours! *wink*).

But after spending last year saving every single register receipt from the grocery store, I'm committed to eating less - from the money standpoint. I simply can't imagine that a single gal like myself should be spending $300 a month on groceries!

Of course, early in the year, I promised myself that I'd spend whatever I wanted as long as I had fresh produce to facilitate my Weight Watchers weight loss. Ok. I did that. Now, it's time to rein in my propensity to overspend, and keep to a smaller budget. There are two easy ways to do that:
(1) Plan my weekly meals
(2) Eat even less meat than I already do

I won't be giving up meat and dairy entirely. But it's certainly a challenge I'm ready to try, to whittle down the budget a bit more.

Susan V's site is one I'll be checking out routinely, as will the Cheap, Healthy, Good Blog.

What are your plans for 2011? I'll be adding to mine here in the next few days, so be sure to check back!!

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Crafting a New Year

In addition to all those New Year's resolutions (okay, I call them PLANS) along came a post that really spoke to me: Crafty New Year.

And the thing that intrigued me was the challenge to find unexpected ways to create with recycled items. So I'm in. I'll be trying to consider items in new ways. This on top of promising myself to work more out of my stashes (yarn and fabric) in creating my own artistic endeavors.

Sounds like a great plan, and I promise to share with you. Happy New Year!

Friday, December 31, 2010

Reverb10: December 31

Core story. What central story is at the core of you, and how do you
share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month.
Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until
today.)
I think I look at myself as being (still) the single mom who didn't get the financial support ordered and who constantly struggled to make ends meet when those ends were constantly being moved. I know the DD thinks I equate everything in my world to a financial value, which may well have been true, but hopefully is becoming less the case as I get older.

But building a financial future has long been a goal of mine, and one that I can't seem to grasp. In recent years, I've been doing better, but there's so much room for improvement and in the current economic environment it's more important than ever.

I am interested to see, looking back over the month's posts, that there is a commonality or theme running thru all of them: a strong motivation to live a wholistic life...to bring all the threads together under some unifying concept. That concept, I think is seeking a strong, viable community - from the standpoint of social relationships, economic strength (thru the local arena - because I do believe that the national and world economic fields will not strengthen without the local and regional communities becoming healthy first - much like "charity begins at home," you know?)

If nothing else, I'm finding that the focus I've had over the years, a propensity to voluntary simplicity and finding what's "enough" (YMOYL concept) for me, is still a valid one. I take baby steps every year.

And so onward to 2011 - more steps, more letting go, more focus on local roots and development. It can be done. Even if it's a slow process.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Reverb10: December 30

Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What's
the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

This past November, I underwent out-patient surgery for a biopsy that was worrisome. I could not have gotten thru the day-long procedure without my friend Lynette who then also volunteered to spend the night (on an Aerobed on the floor that I realized too late I hadn't inflated properly!) to ensure I didn't fall down the stairs or otherwise endanger myself while the anesthesia wore off.

Family members we're handed, and we have no choice in the matter. Those folks, if we're lucky (and I have been!) become friends.

But the friend you choose as your sister is a gift beyond measure. I'm so grateful for mine.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Reverb10: December 29

Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that
has affected your life this year.

I've been drawn my whole life to a lifestyle that I can't seem to get to, but in July I gave myself a birthday gift that ended up being the perfect "taste" of the lifestyle I dream about. It was a day-long Yoga Retreat, in a lovely country setting, complete with thunderstorms and vegan food. Having longed for a sort of "crunchy, hippie, 1960s" sort of existence (I grew up a couple of years behind the real hippies, graduating high school in 1974) instead I focused on being a feminist and not doing the "traditional female roles" of teacher, nurse. I went into a field that was "up and coming for women" and supposedly better paying (accounting) only to realize I was miserable. But it took me years to get my degrees, and I wasn't about to do an about-face in my last semester of night school when the realization hit me like a ton of bricks! I became a Yuppie, instead, and let my fantasies transport me to a "back to the land" lifestyle of growing my own food and herbs, practicing yoga, and then morphing some of each into a kind of eco-feminism (which I still believe in). This was easier when I lived with my mother, as I had the time, and the land to practice "part-time farmer." I was also younger, and stronger. :)

But that day in July 2010, amongst like-minded women, breathing in the rain-drenched air from the wildflower garden thru the windows of the studio, practicing Sun Salutations and trying to follow ahimsa in not over-doing and hurting myself, I realized that this is the world I am best suited for, happiest in. And so I found myself inspired to include more yoga, more cooking with local ingredients and fewer animal products. I no longer have the land or the time to "farm" nor even enough light where I am to grow herbs in a pot (my cats would eat them indoors!).

I have accepted that I can only enjoy such days sporadically, tho' at least I account for a non-profit that does good works - and I do at least take comfort in that. So am finally practicing ahimsa that way...

It is a process, this learning to live the life we wish to live and provoking the changes we'd like to see in the world.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Reverb10: December 28

Achieve. What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do
you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful?
Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new
thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

I want to finally stop procrastinating on getting my financial house in order! I imagine I'll feel: more in control, more responsible, less encumbered by debt, free of obligations of the past.

I can do/think to get there:
1. create and stick to a budget (again)
2. track every penny (I know it works)
3. lock up the credit cards (safe deposit box)
4. participate in blog activities to get there (read personal finance & voluntary simplicity blogs)
5. pyramid payments (pay off highest balance first, then take the next highest and pay that off...etc)
6. "my future is worth working for"
7. rebuild the emergency fund (again)
8. remind myself how much fun it is to see debt balances drop and savings balances increase!
9. Re-read #8 (and make a game of it!)
10. create a knit stash club (again, but more diverse than just socks like the past two years) - knit lace, knit mittens, stash dive, and don't buy! Build up the Christmas gift stash beginning in January so you're less inclined to spend to buy Christmas gifts!!

Oh, I like the last 3...especially.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Reverb10: Dec 27

Ordinary joy. Our most profound joy is often experienced during
ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

Holding my first granddaughter for the first time! She is just a mite but the feeling of seeing the continuation of the family was very strong.

Otherwise, I have incredible ordinary joyous feelings whenever I complete a bag, or when I'm just sitting and knitting...There is such peace and joy in handwork.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Reverb10: Dec 26

Soul food. What did you eat this year that you will never forget?
What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

This year, for part of the year, our Thursday night yoga class would have a vegetarian pot luck on the second Thursday of each month. While I usually stopped at the Natural Foods Co-op and picked up something along the lines of Vegan Macro-Bento Spicey Spinach Noodles and Schezuan Dumplings, other members of our group were known to bring wonderful concoctions, many of them vegan, to share with us. One notable dish was this from my friend, potter Maya Boehler:

Barley & Corn Salad

2 cups spring or filtered water
Sea salt
1 cup pearl barley, sorted and rinsed
1 to 2 ears fresh corn, kernels removed
1 small red onion, diced
1 small cucumber, peeled, seeded and diced
¼ cup minced fresh parsley
¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 to 3 tablespoons umeboshi vinegar
2 teaspoons rice syrup
Juice of 1 lime

Bring water and a pinch of sea salt to a boil in a medium
saucepan over medium heat. Slowly add barley. Cover,
reduce heat to low, and cook 40 to 45 minutes, until barley
is tender and water is absorbed.
Transfer to a bowl and allow to cool.

In a small bowl, combine the oil, umeboshi vinegar, rice syrup,
lime juice, mustard and a little salt. Whisk until blended. The
dressing should have a refreshing, yet spicy taste. Toss the barley,
vegetables and dressing together. Allow the salad to marinate in
the refrigerator about 30 minutes before serving.

Makes 4 or 5 servings.

This year was one of shopping local markets for fresh, locally grown veggies and participating in Meatless Mondays. Mostly, I was eating vegetarian meals, salads, and watching my Weight Watchers Points. As a result, it's very hard for me to come up with ONE soul food to focus on. Except perhaps, my Mother's Nut Loaf. It's comfort food, it's tradition, it's my Mom's recipe.

That's as close as it gets to food that speaks to my soul...hmm...there's another loaf of it in the freezer, so perhaps it will be my New Year's dinner, too!

Reverb10: Dec 25

Photo - a present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.


A very recent photo of my daughter and me at a restaurant last weekend (ok, we're in the parking lot). My sister-in-law took the picture. We had driven to Busch Gardens Williamsburg (a 4.5 hour drive) to see my daughter perform in the orchestra of Rejoice! one of the holiday offerings at the park.

The photo shows two adult women. The me I strive to be is the mother who recognizes that fact. I am notorious for seeing my daughter as the unruly teenager who made everyone's life a challenge - far more than any of us anticipated. She hasn't had an easy life. But she's in her 30s now, has 4 kids, and is trying to make stability a priority.

We've really had our struggles over the past 20 years or so, and I've tried, always, to guide her in the *right* direction...of course, the *right* one for me, isn't the *right* one for her necessarily. Over the past year, I've come to realize that I didn't care for the "interference" of my family in my decisions when I was her age, and that of course, she wouldn't appreciate mine in hers. And so more and more I've been "letting go" on that, giving her the space to make her choices, without my domineering *guidance.*

That photo above shows two women who love each other. I think we're both working on the "...and respect each other's choices" part...and being a bit more successful this year than before.