Just the Beginning!

Here is just the start of the balcony garden I spoke about yesterday...there are two Tami-G hybrid grape tomatoes, 3 sweet basils, a rosemary, and 2 little common geraniums in hot pink (yes, I usually do red, but I loved these, and I think with a couple of white ones or then a red or two mixed in they'll make a lovely pot!). I'll plant the salad seeds today, and some radishes...whatever else I can think of that will survive the dipping of temperatures we're to get tomorrow...

Then also today I'm off to the Salem Farmer's Market - I realized that the traffic and parking issues on Roanoke's Farmer's Market with today being the Strawberry Festival and Chili Cook-off, would just be more wasted fuel (not to mention a headache!). At our present $2.63 a gallon I'll try to conserve that as well on this Eat Local Challenge. I also learned that the strawberries for the festival came from California - what part of LOCAL does that not fit??? lolol. Strawberries will be ripe around here soon, so, I'll keep my eyes open and go for a "pick your own" day with my dear SIL! And in the meantime, I'll work on making room in my little freezer for the spoils of that excursion...

(I promise more photos as they arrive)

Eat Local Challenge

My two best, on-line buds, Birdsong and Jane have been giving me much "food for thought" over the past few weeks. I don't think Jane would mind my telling you (if you don't already know from reading her blog) that she is probably the Queen of Thrift (my mom was a darn close second...) and Birdsong is involved in the Eat Local Challenge and has provided a thoughtful discussion of her plans in participating over on her blog, so go check that out...go on, I'll wait...

Now that you're back, I'll tell you that I'm hoping to be approved to participate in this and what my plans are: I used to be a vegetarian (ok, a Pesca-Vegetarian, which means I ate fish, too) and I know I was healthier, tho' I was a lacto-ovo vegetarian, so dairy and eggs were part of my diet. For health reasons, I've been considering removing the dairy and eggs and returning to a vegetarian - I guess now an almost vegan - diet. "Almost," because I don't think I'll give up my fish. I've become a consumer of soy products (which I will exempt in my eat local challenge as I don't know of a single soy milk producer anywhere near me, and I am committed to Silk products). Other exemptions I'll make will be for coffee & tea, chocolate, whole grain pastas and rice, and salmon & tuna (my fish of choice). The margarine I use to help in lowering my cholesterol will also have to be exempted, as I will continue to do everything I can to promote my heart health, as a heart attack survivor! I may have to make other exemptions as I get into this...I'm just in the earliest of thinking on this! :)

The idea of thinking where my food comes from, and the quality of it, isn't so foreign to me...I once participated in an email message group called Positive Futures in affiliation with the magazine Yes! and there was considerable discussion of the topic then. Then, too, I come from a long line of vegetarians who grew and put by their own food. My dad always had a Victory Garden when I was growing up and I guess I got something from his genes, because I adore gardening. I now have only my little apartment balcony in which to grow a bit of salad, but I will be exploring how I can optimize that small space to add as much home-grown produce to my diet this summer as possible.

I'll also be exploring what is available on my two local Farmers Markets and at farm stands nearby, as well as farms that open up for "pick your own." A small, refrigerator-top freezer is all the space I have, but I suspect it can be better-used than it has been. And I'll do my best to utilize my local natural foods coop and local bakeries (for bread!).

Sometimes I think it's easy for us to become especially complacent about the daily choices that we make - in an almost mindless way - so this challenge is one that I welcome, if only to make me stop, zenlike, and look mindfully at the food I choose to consume and the distance it travels and whether it supports local producers.

(((hugs)))

Abundance Thinking

I'm on a roll here, thinking authentically, examining my constantly over-"examined life" (thank you, Thoreau!). That craft helps me in my quest is a given. But while examining the construct of my days, determining whether or not I can acknowledge an "authentic life," I can't help but wonder if the idea of "thinking abundantly" does anyone any good?

There've been lots of essays and books on the concept. If we start to consider, even when a serious lack might be present in our current lives, what we do have, and be grateful for it, does more good "stuff" come our way?

I have a quote on my office wall...I do not know who said it, it was sent to me through email at a particularly difficult period in my life - it spoke to me then, and still does: "When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change..."

Changing the mindset of "have-not" to one of appreciating the wealth in our lives (and I'm not talking just monetary wealth, here) just may make things change around for the better. And if it doesn't, what has one lost? If I spend my hours happy that I have what I do, that I enjoy the people and activities of my day, rather than grousing about how unfair life is, or what I'm missing out on, isn't the real quality of my day affected?

Of course, it is. Does it bring more good stuff my way? Well, there's probably no way to know this unequivocably. Because once things happen, they can't be undone to be redone under a different perspective...time marches on and you can't replicate that specific experiment. But I know that when I put a positive slant on things, the negatives don't seem to hurt as badly as they do when I'm in a bad mood. Those bad moods and negative attitudes just seem to make EVERYTHING worse! I think it works along with the old saw "smile and the world smiles with you..."
(((hugs)))

Sadie's Place continued...

I'm in a dreamy, reflective mood tonight, not so "turbo-charged" as I usually am! So I thought I'd share one of my favorite spots with you...A special place in my sunny kitchen, the colors of Nana Sadie Rose are the soft jadite greens and pinks from the Depression Era. Since it's hard for you to just drop in and visit, this way you can get a sense of what it's like! (Do you think those vintage pink aluminum needles are better suited to this spot than the Addi Turbos? lolol)
Collections abound here, especially anything with roses, flowers, or cats (ok, I know, that's a chicken...a gift from dear SIL many years ago, but floral still! The pinks and browns are right in fashion now! I love my chicken! And she does fit in my kitchen, dontcha think?)
When you visit Nana Sadie's Place, tea is at the ready...from vintage rose teacups we'll sip Earl Gray and learn what fabrics and styles of bag you'd like for your very own! Or perhaps just sip, listen to Mozart and knit?

Turbo-charged ? Me ?

You are "turbo" charged.
Fast moving and classy, you get things done with power and grace. Your expensive tastes can be deceiving, since what you really value is quality and efficiency. As you're careening around those corners in life, finishing a dozen knitted objects each month, stop and smell the roses. Don't miss the beauty of process!
QuizillaWhat Kind of Knitting Needle Are You?

Well, ok. True, I move fast, I value quality and efficiency, and I need to stop and smell the roses (!) far more often than I do. But while I own a Bernina for my sewing (and it's not a top of the line machine, but it's a very, very good one), I don't own a single pair of Addi Turbos for knitting! Addi Naturas, yes. Love them. Maybe I should make the Turbos my next purchase? But I just ordered 3 new SB Quicksilvers, so maybe not. With my SLE, keeping the yarn on the needles is more important than speed! And I'm far more likely to have sewn a dozen or more items in a month than knit them! Nana Sadie Rose keeps me very busy on that Bernina, which leaves my Addi Naturas sitting much of the time.

For me it's really all about the best quality for the lowest cost...especially these days...So what do you do to ensure quality but do it in a frugal way? Or do you care about frugality? Is it the best or nothing? Or, quantity over quality, because the compulsion to craft is the whole point? I challenge you to think this one over as it relates to your crafting life.

Yarn Meditation

“So I’m forced to suspend time. To work outside of time. To forget that time exists. On a subconscious level I have to believe that I have all the time in the world, or I wouldn’t be able to begin. And something happens when I entertain that fallacy. Time, which is fractal, stretches out, and I begin to experience eternity. There is something about that spacious expansion into endless time that promotes the growth of large-scale thinking, that enables one to rise above the petty stresses of everyday life. Viewed from a certain perspective, time is the only real luxury we have.”

Dear Susan Gordon Lydon. How I shall miss her. This quote from her The Knitting Sutra’s introduction perfectly expresses what I feel when I knit lace, puts poetry to the claim I’ve made that knitting lace is my meditation.

When you can finally sit down, quietly, with perhaps only Mozart on the CD player and a cup of Earl Gray tea nearby, a not-so-patient Siamese watching the strand of yarn emerging from the ball, when you can finally focus on the lace, time does indeed “stretch out” or in my mind, time shifts. It’s as though I’ve entered another dimension, where time slows to the barest crawl. Time becomes the K2tog’s, the yo’s, the ssk’s, the sl1k1psso’s. As the lace emerges from my fingers, frenetic motion within and without disappears. Calm descends. In such a space, complex problems can be seen clearly, decisions reached unemotionally. Large-scale thinking is indeed promoted. The deep breathing of peace begins.

Blessed be.

Why Craft?

I’ve always been proud of the fact that I can create something lovely with my hands, whether it’s through counted cross-stitch, sewing or knitting. Many people do not have the ability, interest, or inclination to use their hands to create. I come from a long line of women who knew how to use their hands to make beautiful things as they had little beauty in their lives courtesy of economic challenges beyond their control. They might not have always enjoyed crafting (my mom hated to sew, for example) but they knew how, and they used those skills to make their lives better.

I take great pride in the hand-sewn products I create, but I make sure that they are of the highest quality possible in order to justify that pride.

I struggled for a long time to find my purpose in life, and finally realized that while I do honorable work for a just cause as an accountant for a nonprofit organization, my purpose in life is to create beautiful and useful objects. The two descriptors are key – the objects I make must serve both criteria. You’ll seldom see frou-frou in my work.

When I receive the compliments from Nana Sadie Rose’s customers telling me how impressed they are with the quality of my workmanship and with the practicality of the designs, I know a kind of pride that I could never have imagined before. My sense of purpose is fulfilled.

I don’t usually knit as a part of Nana Sadie Rose. But when I knit in public, I usually end up laughing out loud when someone comes up to me saying..."I wish I could knit...you must be a very patient person." Well, no, I’m not. When you learn to knit you need persistence more than patience. When you have a big project (whether it is repetitive or challenging) you need persistence - the sheer determination to understand, master, and muddle through. Persistence.

Patience isn't the most important part of knitting, except that knitting certainly helps me learn to be patient, or at least helps me get through times that demand patience. I knit garter stitch dishcloths and scarves to get through long wait times – at doctors’ offices, craft shows, in airports, on commuter trains (ok, not the last two for some time now, but I have done so in my lifetime). I knit challenging things to get me past periods when I want to move the world around to my way of thinking or doing, and the world lets me know it’s just going to move at its own sweet pace no matter what I want. Those challenging projects make my mind stop obsessing over what I cannot by the sheer force of will make happen. They force me to focus on something else, even if it’s tinking back to correct my mistakes because I’ve let my mind wander. Knitting makes me appear patient to the rest of the world, when I want to grab the world by the scruff of the neck and shake it around to my way of thinking. Knitting makes me slow down and breathe. Knitting brings me peace.

Sewing does much the same, though not by the rhythm of the needles clicking together. Making my Nana Sadie Rose creations brings my design capabilities into play with the color and pattern of quilting fabrics. Sewing is more visual. Knitting is textural.

Years ago, studying ethics in education and business, I came upon a book that in a very simple, straightforward manner, just blew me away. Kenneth Blanchard and Norman Vincent Peale co-wrote The Power of Ethical Management in which the authors created the concept of the Five P’s of Ethical Power: Pride, purpose, patience, persistence, and perspective. While I can’t draw it here, the first four on that list rotate around the last. Perspective is the hub of the wheel around which the other four turn…perspective enables you to practice the others – they all work together in our lives, as a wheel works to move an object forward.

I am constantly impressed by how often these 5 P’s crop up in my thinking since that book first dropped into my life. I was reminded of it, again, when I read Ruinwen’s two recent discussions of turning her life towards her desire to become a knitting designer. Ruinwen was talking about not having patience and not being good at knowing how to wait. She hates to wait. In one post she says: “Last week I talked about paring down my life and finding out what is real and authentic to my personal self. I’ve decided that trying to do that in a season of growth and renewal is probably not good timing.” And in the very next post she says she’s going to go with the longing in her soul to become a knitting designer. What she may not realize yet is that by focusing on her dream, the extraneous in her life will fall away...it's a natural by-product of the process of reaching for the thing that matters most to us!

Who’s waiting? Not Ruinwen. She’s honoring the voice inside her that tells her that her authentic self must craft. She is drawn to it as nothing else. It will become her purpose, her pride, she will be persistent in her endeavors, they will help her develop patience and perspective. (And, by the way, she’s going to be a terrific designer you mark my words!)

So why do I craft? To develop perspective on an often insane world; to create something of lasting beauty and function; to watch pattern, texture, and color develop from a ball (or balls) of yarn and from pieces of fabric; and to move through the day, the week, the months with a modicum of sanity. But it’s certainly not because I’m an inherently patient person! Though I’m learning!

Yarn Focus Challenge - Voluntary Simplicity...

I’ve just committed to something called the Yarn Focus Challenge. It’s a simple idea. The button for participating is in the sidebar over there. ---> It’s not the same thing as a yarn diet. As diets don’t usually work, the Yarn Focus Challenge attempts to increase awareness of the activity of indiscriminately purchasing yarn (I could add fabric in here, too!). It’s related to the philosophy of voluntary simplicity, which is not about poverty, but instead about bringing balance into our lives. Living intentionally. Being aware of what you do that works in your life and those things that don’t. Living lightly on the earth, living ecologically.

Earlier this month, I wrote about living an authentic life, in response to my dear “sis” Birdsong’s query on her blog. This post attempts to further define my idea of authenticity in my own life.

Duane Elgin is the “father” of the voluntary simplicity movement, and his book Voluntary Simplicity: Toward a Way of Life That is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Rich is one that has graced my bookshelf and gotten much use over the years.

Early in the book, he states: “To live more voluntarily is to live more deliberately, intentionally, and purposefully – in short, it is to live more consciously…To live more simply is to live more purposefully and with a minimum of needless distraction. The particular expression of simplicity is a personal matter. We each know where our lives are unnecessarily complicated. We are all painfully aware of the clutter and pretense that weigh upon us and make our passage through the world more cumbersome and awkward. To live more simply is to unburden ourselves…to establish a more direct, unpretentious, and unencumbered relationship with all aspects of our lives: the things we consume, the work that we do, our relationships with others, our connections with nature and the cosmos, and more (pp. 24-25).”

My world routinely spins out of control…I can almost predict it, but not quite. Once I’ve been reeling for a couple of weeks, I suddenly think – OH! I’m doing it again…I’m losing focus, forgetting the things that work to make me feel more peaceful, more in control. And I can guarantee that it’s at these times that I buy things I do not need – yarn, fabric, magazines, books. It’s always a jolt when I bring myself up short and think “Knee-jerk reactions, not thinking, not focusing!”

This is what the Yarn Focus Challenge is about for me. This activity isn’t about NOT BUYING YARN. I can buy it if I really want it, if I feel there’s a project worth spending my time on for the use of it. But the Focus aspect of the Challenge is about the intellectual activity of not buying willy-nilly (I see it-it’s pretty-I want it-I buy it). It’s about living with intentionality. On the Yarn Focus Challenge, we step back and say…I can only buy yarn on ONE day this month. Is THIS the day? Do I really need THIS yarn, or do I have other yarn I want to buy, what are my plans for this yarn, is it really something I want or need? Will my planned purchase have to wait because I made this purchase (because the goal IS planned purchasing)?

There are a couple of concepts that seem, in my mind, to blend with this philosophy, too: the idea of delayed gratification. We tend to be a society to think that we deserve to have things right now. So with any purchase, if we want it, we get it. Credit makes that easy, but it’s not always the healthy thing to do, financially. And often, it’s a “quick fix” for our emotional ups and downs, I feel better when I buy, but then I’m back buying again because I’m not feeling up to snuff!

The other idea has to do with the sheer volume of STUFF we have: I get worked up whenever I drive by the storage facilities that have cropped up all over…thinking "that's just what we need – a place, out of sight, out of mind, for us to store all our stuff." How can anyone remember what they have when it's out of sight? Why would I rent space to store stuff if it isn’t necessary enough for me to keep under the same roof with me? Needless to say, storing excess stuff at a remote location redefines the concept of living lightly on the land, of keeping our “ecological footprints” small.

It’s a case of knowing when you have “enough.” Do you know what your personal definition of “enough” is? Because we're each individuals, the definition is different for each of us.

When I think about voluntary simplicity, and especially since I have a pretty good idea of what my personal “enough” is, I usually think of “things” – the “stuff” that I have too much of: yarn, fabric, magazines, clothes. But voluntary simplicity can have a lot to do with your relationships, with the manner in which you spend your time (do you spend your time as frivolously as you do your cash?), with the work you chose to do. Those areas are too broad for me to address here. But if you’re interested in the subject just spend a few minutes googling on Voluntary Simplicity. You’ll find a lot out there.

It’s spring, and spring cleaning thoughts abound right now. For me, the Yarn Focus Challenge is a time of spring cleaning, an opportunity to redefine how much is “enough” for me, and yet another occasion for me to step back and say, “breathe deeply, and think…does this work with my personal philosophy?”

Reprise - An Authentic Life?

I keep re-reading the post below and thinking that not only is my depression from last week very obvious (tho' Jane assures me it's not) but that perhaps a cynicism that I really don't feel is apparent there.

So I thought, perhaps I should revisit this post and try to convey a bit more of my thinking on what is now my authentic life? (You be sure and leave me a comment - even if it's, wish you'd left well-enough alone and would move ON!)

Since this is a slightly more sane moment for me, let me tell you that I'm usually not afraid for myself economically. I can support myself (of course, I may be doing this into my 90s if someone will let me work for them, or will pay for my crafts, and I'm still alive and kicking by then!) and have for many years. If I'm living more paycheck-to-paycheck than I would prefer, I suppose I could consider giving up some of my "luxuries" but yarn and fabric, kitty food and vet bills, not to mention cable internet connection and cell phone are pretty necessary to how I live my life, and these are about the only places I can see to cut corners...since health care and rising fuel costs take an ever-increasing bite out of our paychecks these days.

My health is generally pretty good, tho' I do have that tachycardia when upset. But I know how to deal with it, as unpleasant as it is. However, it does cost quite a bit to maintain my health, now that I'm approaching my 50th birthday, with heart disease and SLE in my medical records. I'm grateful I can manage that most of the time.

I'm the idealist I've always been, believing that we are the caretakers of our society, and we have to voice concern when we see something happening (politically, socially) that goes against our beliefs. I take issue with people assuming they know where I stand (few do, and I'll not discuss it on my blogs). I'm more conservative than many, more liberal than a few. I come from strong Socialist stock (turn of the century grandparents - the 1900s, not the 2000s!) and have a strong Business Management background, but see flaws in the thinking on both sides there, so don't use that information to classify me, either! ;)

I have a long list of "shoulds" that will never be seen where our political environment is concerned (at least not in my lifetime). I'm not a fence-sitter ideologically. My representatives know whether or not they can count on my vote at re-election time.

But I put my energies in very specific places these days. Which I guess is why I wanted to address the issue of an authentic life once again.

You see, I think I do live a truly authentic life. I think the above tells you that, stating that my politics is personal - period. I don't like to publically air it, unlike what you find on a lot of blogs today...

What matters to me most are pretty simple things: ensuring the success of my business in an attempt to secure my financial future, being a nana to two boys with a third grandchild on the way, caring for the pets I adopted till the end of their natural days (two of whom are nearing the time to cross the Rainbow Bridge), nurturing a long-term relationship with a man I've loved for many, many years, being a good friend and family member, and being a good employee in an organization with values I support.

If my apartment is a tad untidy, my yarn and fabric stash a bit over-the-top, my bank account smaller than I'd like, so be it. In my authentic life it is the term "relationships" that is key.

An Authentic Life?

"Are you trying to live your version of an authentic life, or have you thrown up your hands, daunted by the demands of daily life? Talk to me."

Interesting question, posed yesterday, by my dear “sis” Birdsong! I am trying hard not to throw up my hands today. I’m truly “daunted by the demands of daily life.” With life constantly careening off at the speed of light, it’s hard to find the time I need to be introspective enough to live my version of an authentic life. And it’s been a rough week. So here are my thoughts on your question, dear Birdsong. I hope they're a worthy reply...

Once I practiced yoga and meditation, was an ethical vegetarian, lived where I could grow a few herbs and vegies, tho’ not nearly at the level of self-sufficiency I’ve dreamed about. I was politically active.

Now? If I can find time to knit, I consider I’ve meditated. Knitting lace is best for that. I still do a bit of yoga, tho’ not enough. I’m no longer a vegetarian of any sort, tho’ I probably should be! Politically, I still vote, and I write the occasional letter to my representatives.

Birdsong’s use of the de Beauvoir quote is terribly appropriate for her. In another lifetime, I’d have agreed with that quote. Today I no longer do. I can no longer afford to live so deeply rooted in society and maintain my physical health. I try now not to get angry about things I perceive I have limited control over. Tachycardia is an unpleasant side-effect of having had a heart attack and by-pass surgery. It feels as if your heart will leap out of your chest, it is banging about so hard. Angry/frustrated/frightened = Tachycardia for me.

I do not like many things I see in our world today. I question much of what appears in the news. I am easily angered. I am easily aroused to a level of frustration that is unhealthy for me. I live at a precarious economic level. I am often frightened about the future, at a very basic level of survival. When I see the least of society being threatened at this same basic level, my pulse races, my heart pounds in my chest – I can empathize so clearly. So I work for a non-profit social service organization in an attempt to make a difference. I hope we do.

And I try to maintain a fragile state of calm. Sometimes it boils down to something as basic as telling myself to remember to breathe...I even have a sign on my desk to remind me.

I am currently on a news fast. I stopped watching the 24-hour news channels after September 11, 2001. I try to control my exposure to negativity as much as possible, and I try to avoid the feeling of “on the edge hysteria” the news channels offer on a daily basis, about practically everything, not just events that truly qualify for hysteria. I listen to NPR, for the 20 minute commute each way on most days. I do not take a newspaper, nor do I read news blogs/websites.

The choice I’ve made is clear: I am determined to stay alive. Authentic life or not, I am determined to survive, to be here for my grandchildren. Because of my health issues, I have had to compromise on the things I allow to affect my emotions. Because of my economic issues, I work very hard at my job and my part-time businesses. Fortunately, I love my work. But ethically, it's a sad place for me to be. I feel that I've lost some of my power and that I’m selling out my values and my political beliefs by making this choice. Life seldom gives us easy choices, so I try not to agonize over it. So be it.

And thank God for the Birdsongs of the world.

Springtime in Virginia!

Can you believe this is the same tree from the post just a month ago?

Born Too Late!

(photo courtesy of Hancock-Paducah Fabrics)

I simply should have been here years and years ago...I was born too late for the Victorian era, but somehow I know that should have been my life.

I've just ordered fabrics from the photo you see here. All lace and roses, ivories, pinks, burgundies, greens, blacks, golds. The colors of a Queen Anne-style drawing room, of Nana Sadie Rose.

Why is it I feel a time warp when I see rose-strewn wallpaper? Why do I go weak in the knees over a nosegay of white roses and lavender? Knitted lace shawls, antimacassars, cut-work tablecloths, fine rose-etched crystal, bone china and marble-topped mahogany furniture. I was not raised with these things.

But when I was a very small child, there was an older lady who lived a few doors down the street from my parents' house. When I could not yet talk, I nonetheless toddled repeatedly to her house to visit. Her name was Lena and her home was filled with these fine things. How did I know? What drew me there? (Questions my mother could never answer...and don't think she didn't try!)

But as surely as I found my way to Lena's home, I have loved these things for all of my life...and now when I receive a notice from one of my suppliers that these fabrics are available, I once again go weak in the knees, and I just have to buy...

Just wait till you see the bags!

Lace for an Elegant Evening of Music

  Here, finally, is my beautiful Queen of Hearts lace shawl, she of the broken, yet mended hearts. I was ready to leave for a wonderful concert at the National Symphony Orchestra with Midori as soloist for the evening. A delightful evening, filled with the fun of new, young friends, and those of us older, my sisters, my self, my BIL. Exquisite peasant food at the Kennedy Center for dinner, fine wine, laughter, then wondrous music. And the most comforting thing, was pulling Queen of Hearts around my shoulders and feeling elegant! 

Knitters Make the Best Friends!

I've just returned from my knitting group this evening. We meet only once a month, tho' most of us wish we could increase those meetings, we usually just can't find the time.

But once again, as I do on an almost daily basis, I am impressed by the quality of the friendships we knitters have with each other. You can't forget that you had a problem with something, because you'll be reminded that "we were going to work on that this time" and then you can just sit down, because work on it you will ... this time, for me, it was short rows on socks and my teacher was Rae. Still not sure I've got it, as I'd forgotten my own practice yarn, but I know I'll have another chance to sit with Rae and learn again.

We'd only just ended that particular session when a cell phone went off - MINE! And The Man From My Past, Present, & Future - he on a lonely stretch of road driving into the night on a customer call...Off I went, outside into the high winds, as a front pushes through our region tonight - temperatures dropping 40 degrees over night, so that the wind had a bite to it. Twenty minutes later, pink-cheeked, and not just from the wind, I returned to much good-natured ribbing. These ladies are as delighted as I am by the current state of my romantic affairs, I do believe!

It's the same with my on-line knitting buddies. We support, encourage, teach each other through trials and struggles and triumphs. An e-card now takes the place of the hot dish we might bring by if we lived next door. I've never had a next door neighbor to sit with and knit. The last time I did something similar, I was a teen learning to use makeup with my best friend India who lived in the house behind mine, laughing and singing to the radio. We were just as obsessed with our pots and potions of color and scent, with the Beatles, as my friends now are obsessed with needles, yarn, and spinning wheels.

Is it any wonder that women turned the internet into the proverbial backfence? We lean across and compare notes. We nurture our friendships online the way we used to nurture our neighborhoods, when we truly had front porches.

All my girlfriends - almost all of them knitters - save my sanity every single day!
(((hugs)))

Snowy Day

 
I didn't take this photo during today's snow, we didn't have this much. This was a shot from a couple of weeks ago, a lovely snowy scene from the front of my apartment building. This is the kind of winter scene I just love! 

The 'Zen' of Lace Knitting...

My dear friend Jane was musing last night as she tinked Highland Triangle Shawl that she just didn't think she had the "Zen for lace."

I replied (in my middle-of-the-night epiphany): "You're new to it. I cannot tell you how much I tinked on the first Triangle Lace shawl. And I made that really major goof on the QOH that I never caught (tinked that shawl a lot tho'). I think the "zen" to it, is that (when you know there's something wrong), you go back and work on it, tinking, or frogging to a lifeline, but even tho' you're upset with the mistake and the time you lose, you do it, you focus on it. It's not that lace isn't frustrating, because it is, but it's satisfying, it's tantalizing, it's consuming. It's like life - you can choose to muddle thru it and it'll be okay, 'the blind man on a galloping horse at midnight' thing, OR you can choose to tink, to frog, to work at it, to grow with it, to try to reach a level of perfection..."

I'm still new to knitting lace, too...and wish I could work on it more than I have time to do. I'm not sure I have a 'zen for it' but I'm certainly consumed by it. When I'm knitting lace, I don't think about much else, I don't worry or fret or fidget, I tend to have more "present moments" than when I do anything else...that's meditation, so they say - being in the present moment.

We're having snow again today - not a lot, a pesky too little to really count, just enough to cause havoc on the roads kind of snow. Roanoke has the equipment to deal with snow. The problem with snow/ice around here is that people think they know how to drive in it (especially if they own an SUV) but they really haven't a clue...I learned to drive in winter in Vermont. Roanokers think they can barrel on thru and the 4-wheel drive will save them, but you can't do that. You have to be careful, you have to be defensive, but you cannot be tentative.

It's a balance, a security of knowing your vehicle and your own abilities and having just enough fear and respect of the unknown (the snow and ice, the road conditions), and just enough understanding of the laws of physics to remain smart and alert, in the present moment.

Driving in snow is a lot like knitting lace...

Yarn Talks

Well, I started this discussion with myself and those of you who read this relatively unknown blog a few weeks ago, and I see my idol has continued her (much funnier) discussion of a similar topic. Only she talks TO her stash, tells it to stay in its (limited) place! Mine talks to ME and tells me what IT wants to be. I don’t usually talk to mine as if it were a teenager, but then, I wasn’t very good at getting my (former) teenager to listen to me either.

Stephanie is so funny. Her stash is so much nicer (in quality, the darn stuff sounds as if it’s blackmailing her, and that’s NOT nice!) than mine. Hmmm…think that might be a goal for me? To make my entries funny and to have a nicer stash?

Philosophically it doesn’t really mix with my “less is more” voluntary simplicity thing, now does it? Although, if I remember my involvement with Positive Futures what you choose to involve yourself in (i.e. knitting and sewing for me) and spend your money on is fine. You just have to be aware of where your yarn (or your coffee, or your clothing) is coming from and who is involved in the process…(what workers are exploited, what resources wasted, and such).

Oh well…much more amusing to read Stephanie’s account of her conversations with her stash…

Happy 250th Birthday Mozart!

Enjoying my public radio’s tribute to my favorite composer this afternoon…I only wish I didn’t have to work, as I’d be drinking Earl Gray and knitting through it all…

For those who don’t realize it - tomorrow and Sunday are the Star City Cat Fanciers Show in Roanoke! If you’re nearby, stop and see me - I’ll be in the vendor section with Nana Sadie Rose bags!

Oh, and today is also the one year blogiversary for Knitnana!

To Frog or Not to Frog?

When do you decide to frog? When do you decide to leave an error as is and continue on…

In the past several days, I’ve frogged more than in many months of knitting. Last summer, knitting the first lace shawl, in my online class, I frogged constantly. But since completing that, I tend to tink, stitch-by-stitch back to whatever error.

I think that when I ripped out the second lifeline in the lace shawl by too-forceful frogging I became just a tad skittish.

Three weeks ago, I began an on-line socks class, learning to knit socks toe-up (Mind you I’ve never knit socks before in any manner). I’ve frogged that sock 4 times. I’m hoping not to again. And today, into the 3rd repeat of 12 rows per repeat on the Traveling Vines Lace Scarf, I realized I’d failed to knit the 6 set-up rows. This is my second time knitting this scarf. The yarn I picked for it the first time was a wool sock yarn with acrylic. Lace and acrylic don’t mix. I learned that with the first lace shawl (the hard way).

In the second lace shawl, my beloved Queen of Hearts, I didn’t catch a major flaw in the knitting until it was blocking. I did not frog and reknit - it was more than half way down the width of the shawl and I would never have recovered emotionally. The “broken hearts” on one row of the Queen of Hearts shawl is a loving reminder of my own mended heart and imperfection.

Because this is such a lovely yarn that I’m using for the Traveling Vines Scarf (my prize from Wendy’s birthday contest), I decided I needed to do the pattern right this second time I cast on for it. So this time, I frogged it because I truly was seeking perfection in the lace.

I have always been a perfectionist. I consider that I still am. January is that month when all my perfectionist tendencies come tumbling forth: as an accountant there are many payroll-related tasks that make my perfectionism a gift to any employer or client I have. Then I usually have a large show where my “perfect” totes and bags are showcased. And of course, there is the New Year, the “perfect” time to set up goals to be “perfect!”

So what is it in me that makes me decide to frog or not?

Because it’s not just that I want my work to be perfect - I want the Navajo way of allowing a mistake in my craft so my soul can leave the work to become second nature now. But one mistake is not missing 6 set-up rows. One mistake is not having multiple holes along the reverse short rows of the toe of a sock.

For that matter one mistake on a W-2 is one too many - and the IRS would agree, as would SSA.

So maybe my knitting is like my accounting work. I can have an error in the
minor stuff, things that can be easily corrected without a major fuss, or that “a blind man on a galloping horse” won’t see (to quote friend Jane). But like the W-2’s, my lace knitting has to be as close to perfect as possible now. This is too big a deal to screw up. Yes the IRS will let me file a corrected W-2. And that blind man (like this partially blind knitter) may miss an odd little error in the lace.

But in art, which my lace is, I must reach for the unattainable: Perfection.

I’ll frog.

Welcome New Year!

While 2005 was a truly amazing year for me, I always look forward to beginning anew, to new plans, new goals, new projects! A new year is always exciting to me, even tho’ I do not make resolutions, I make PLANS.

Today, I’m sitting here as I write, with a new coffee mug showing a pile of hysterical kitties called “Caterpillar,” a Christmas gift from my niece who actually asked for help with learning to knit! Do you know what that did to this crafty aunt’s heart? Here is an important plan for me in 2006…to be available to help her learn this craft that has become a lifelong love affair of mine.

Then another treasure of the moment is the delight of laughter - the cat mug for one, and Yarn Harlot’s book, both of which were gifts this year. I’m savoring the book, an essay at a time, laughing till the tears pour down my face. What a gem! And this teaches me I must plan for much laughter in 2006.

My other plans for next year? You’ll see a new bag join those already available on Nana Sadie Rose, designed especially for teachers. There will also be a special offer on Heart-themed bags during Heart Month with a portion of the retail price going to WomenHeart. Then a new concept here at Nana Sadie Rose, the private party (similar to those home parties we enjoyed so much a few years ago) which is the brainstorm of my sister (one of my best customers!).

Of course, I’ll be at the Star City Cat Fancy Shows in January and July as well…and probably a few others during the year, so keep checking the website calendar, and stop by if you can. I’d love to meet you in person! And don’t forget, you can order your own custom made Nana Sadie Rose bag here, too.

So those are just some of my plans…But as to knitting? Shawls and Lace. Socks! I’ve only just learned to “knit while holding a porcupine,” and now it’s time to learn to knit socks. Whether that becomes a fascination of mine is yet to be determined, but I certainly adore the yarn, which is a first major step in becoming a compulsion!

Will I break down and move to cobweb weight yarn to knit a lace shawl? Or stop at lace weight? I haven’t decided. “You must do the thing you think you cannot do,” Eleanor Roosevelt said, and I try very hard to remember that when fear creeps in…Am I afraid of cobweb weight yarn? - umm, yes. And teensy needles, too.

There are other plans, too. To nurture and grow a relationship from years past, newly reborn. To nurture two grandsons and a daughter. To be a source of strength and support to family and friends (emulating a generation of women friends and family who came before me and have been such special role models). To continue my “day job” with as much devotion as the lady boss who leads us (blessings upon her, she is a treasure, and a good friend, too!). To continue to develop my personal spirituality of which craft is such an enormous part. To try to live in healthy balance of activity and repose. And to continue to write, here and on Knitnana about the various aspects of my knitting and crafting life.

My wish for everyone in 2006? That we may all learn to listen and understand each other, to work hard to develop patience, and to strive to live in peace with our neighbors on this earth. Agitation incites stress, so may I suggest that you pick up sticks and string and join us in counting stitches? Stress will fall away, the cares of the day will, too. And the work of your hands will warm you and whomever you pass your product on to. Happy New Year!